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:icon9questioneverything6: More from 9QuestionEverything6


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Writings by Ravenshymn

Literature by GetWatchers

Poetry by MauraGreen


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Submitted on
December 23, 2013
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                             "Hello,"

You asked me how I was                                           but kept walking.
                                                "How are you?"

Well I had prepared to tell you that I had lost my puppy,
As you walked away not really caring if I was fine or not.

No, not really, Miss Teddy is at home snuggled safely in her doggy bed

But she could have been dead.

You said hello, and asked me how I was,
But then you kept talking, making it clear that how you feel about the weather is way more important than me losing my brother.

No, no, my brother is fine.

He has just gotten married to a beautiful bride and is expecting a child.

You asked, "Are you okay?" And then interrupted with, "Of course you are." To avoid the conversation about me having cancer, as if I lead you to believe that I'm stronger than I really am.
               
                                              "I'm fine, actually."
No, I don't have cancer,                                              but I could have.
                   
                  "Thank you for asking."
It's common for people to say "Whats up?" or "How are you?" without sticking around long enough for you to answer. :/
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Professional Writer
Apologies for the delay. The holiday season has had me swamped! Sean here from #We-Poets stopping by for the critique you requested.

I like this a lot!  It's quirky, but very cool!  I think some more punctuation might help it slightly:

                                                "How are you?"

You said hello, and asked me how I was,
But then you kept talking, making it clear that how you feel about the weather is way more important than me losing my brother.

You asked, "Are you okay?" and then interrupted with, "Of course you are." To avoid the conversation about me having cancer, as if I lead you to believe that I'm stronger than I really am.
                
                                              "I'm fine, actually."

Otherwise, I love it. :)

-Sean
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:icon9questioneverything6:
9QuestionEverything6 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the feedback, it's highly appreciated.
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:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Professional Writer
You're welcome very much! :)
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013   Writer
I used your title for a title poem here- fav.me/d704ys2 -thanks!
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:icon9questioneverything6:
9QuestionEverything6 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww, thanks, that's no problem at all.

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:iconbuslimpan:
buslimpan Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Yeah, sadly it is :/
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:iconhadasaugh:
hadasaugh Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Professional General Artist
Or cutting you off because it is only a lead-on for them to talk about themselves.
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:icon9questioneverything6:
9QuestionEverything6 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
True.
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013   Writer

This piece is now Featured at the group below. Just hit the icon and look under 'Featured' or 'Favorites' to see it.


:icongetwatchers: ... :thumbsup:

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:icon9questioneverything6:
9QuestionEverything6 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I'm glad u like it!
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